Just Nightmares - H/C: sich (auf)opfern (für mich)

[rolly-chan.livejournal.com]

Titel: Just Nightmares - Teil 7
Team: Erato
Challenge: H/C - sich (auf)opfern
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Charaktere/Pairings: Stiles + Allison
Wörter: 1098
A/N: Der siebte Teil, yay. Endlich Allison! Nur leider bin ich so absolut nicht zufrieden, weder mit diesem noch mit dem nächsten Teil... *Haare rauf*

Teil 1 | Teil 2 | Teil 3 | Teil 4 | Teil 5 | Teil 6


Stiles needed three tries before his jeep purred to life. It was disconcerting and made him sad, but fuck if he wouldn't drive her till her last day. However, his nerves were all over the place for a different reason, which sat in the passenger seat right now, next to him.

Allison was looking forward, seemingly without concern and totally chill. Stiles thought she wasn't though. At least he supposed that she was a little nervous too, because Stiles would definitely be nervous if he knew his friend was nervous around him, and since Allison knew, and probably knew that Stiles knew... Stiles kind of lost this train of thought.

He cleared his throat and pulled out of the parking lot, choosing the fastest way to Allison's. Maybe his clearing his throat was some kind of cue, he didn't know, but Allison started talking.

"Can you tell me about the nightmares?"

And the question was totally unexpected. So unexpected that Stiles almost lost his cool while driving. He screamed curses in his head until he was sufficiently calmed. "Can we not talk about that? I just told you all in there..."

"Might I maybe know you better than that? That was only the surface, Stiles. Please tell me. We're friends," she said. We're friends, she said and meant that they could trust each other more, that Stiles could maybe start trusting her more. Even though it was Stiles who shouldn't be trusted after everything. Stiles sighed.

"Doesn't Scott tell you?"

"He said it's not for him to say," Allison said, turning towards him. "I want to know. I want to know you. And I want you to know me."

Stiles realized that Allison was scarily good at getting what she wanted. That she was scarily good at making him feel less nervous. He really didn't deserve friends like that.

"They're bad," Stiles confessed. He was fighting an inner battle whether he should continue, but Allison's words had a strange magical impact on him, spurring him on and making him want to tell her. "They're scary and creep me out."

Allison's face didn't change into pity, or anything at all. It just stayed interested, silently supportive, and it felt a little liberating.

"I'm stabbing Scott..." he said in a whisper, because even now, he still couldn't talk about it loudly, still wasn't over it. "I'm stabbing him and the nogitsune is telling me I can't run... and then there's this dream where I can't see or hear or make sound... there's nothing but blackness... and then there's a trail of blood and the nogitsune demands of me to solve a riddle it never told me, and then you... everyone's impaled on metal poles and your dead eyes are watch- watching me..."

He finally cracked and couldn't say another word, or he'd actually start crying and getting a panic attack. It's like reliving those nightmares. The glaring red of the blood, Scott's betrayed expression, the nothingness, as if he didn't exist, and his friends all dead.

Allison's hand on his shoulder snapped him out of it. "Hey, you okay?"

He nodded and focused back on the street. It wouldn't do him any good if he actually managed to kill both him and Allison because he didn't pay attention.

"It wasn't your fault," Allison said after what felt like an eternity. She was looking straight ahead at the road, not at him, and it was probably for the better, or Stiles would have let his attention slip again. "Technically, it was because of Kira's electricity."

"So what, should I blame Kira now?"

"No. She didn't know any better. If anyone, blame Barrow."

Stiles thought back to the incident. He didn't remember what happened after he walked in with the bat. But it was still not that easy.

"It was the nogitsune who got him to do it... and it was inside me already."

"Exactly. It was that thing that did it, not you, Stiles," Allison said, her voice gentle again. Like she was talking to a scared animal. Maybe that was what Stiles was right now. A scared animal that didn't know what to do but to attack in defense.

"But it happened because I didn't close the door..."

There was a long silence, and Stiles knew there wasn't much road left till he'd reach Allison's home. He thought Allison had given up on talking to him. He couldn't blame her—he was a difficult case. But then she spoke again.

"It could have been me. I almost didn't close the door either..."

"What?"

Allison let out a huff and Stiles glanced over to see her roll her eyes. "I almost pushed it open. It could have been me."

Stiles was stunned speechless for a moment there. This sounded like a big confession. It sounded like something she hadn't told a lot of people. Something she had told maybe her dad and Scott and Lydia. And now she was telling Stiles.

"And you know what? If it had been me, I don't think I'd still be sane."

"Don't cut yourself short, Alli, you're strong."

She actually smiled at that. "So are you."

"I'm still sorry."

Allison was silent again, looking ahead. They were almost there; just down the road... And there they were. Stiles parked the jeep in front of her house at the edge of the sidewalk. They both remained sitting.

"You almost sacrificed your life," Allison finally said and turned to him again. She looked into his eyes earnestly, and Stiles didn't need clarification. Of course she was talking about the nogitsune's icy illusion and how Stiles had actually considered sacrificing himself to maybe save his friends—when they all hadn't known if Allison would make it. It still brought the chill back into his bones when he remembered. He shivered.

"I think that's enough. You don't need to keep sacrificing, Stiles." Her eyes bore into his. She was completely serious, trying to will Stiles to believe in it. But Stiles bowed his head, partly in embarrassment and partly in shame. Shame at the fact that he was still so hung up over it all. Shame at the fact that he was constantly disappointing his friends. He thought that maybe he should start to change that. But Allison's hand on his shoulder again pulled him back to the present.

"Let's go, there's something I want to have a look at, because there's just something that doesn't quite make sense about our newest case."

And with that, their conversation was closed and the tension slowly dissipated as business took over.

Comments

[peterhforalpha.livejournal.com]

Ich weiß nicht, was du hast. Das war sooooo toll. Ich liebe deine Allison und ich liebe, wie sie die richtigen Worte für Stiles findet.
Das hat er aber auch verdient, immerhin ist es ja wirklich nicht seine Schuld gewesen, obwohl das vermutlich leichter gesagt als wirklich gedacht ist. Er kann sich ja schließlich an alles erinnern.
Aber ich denke, dass das Rudel Stiles wieder richtig ans Laufen kriegen wird ;)

[rolly-chan.livejournal.com]

Danke <3 Ich weiß nicht, aber beim Schreiben fühlte es sich an, als hätte ich einfach Wörter hingeklatscht und als hätte ich mir mehr Mühe geben müssen. Meh xD

Das Rudel wird auch noch öfter vorkommen, weil pack-feels! xD Ich glaube ja eh, dass Stiles ne große Resilienz besitzt, und zusätzlich noch mit der Hilfe seines Rudels und seines Papas wird alles gut <3