Hurt/Comfort - Falsche Zeit, falscher Ort - für mich

[nessaniel.livejournal.com]

Team: Dickinson
Autor: nessaniel
Titel: The Soldier and the Boy
Challenge: Hurt/Comfort – Falsche Zeit, falscher Ort – für mich
Fandom: Iron Man: Armored Adventures (muss man nicht kennen, es ist praktisch ein Avengers-AU)
Charaktere/Pairing: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers
Disclaimer: Mir gehört gar nichts, Marvel owns my soul
Kommentar Story is in English!
Zusammenfassung Ein paar Anmerkungen dazu. In "Iron Man: Armored Adventures" ist Tony Stark ein sechzehnjähriger High-School-Schüler, der seinen Vater während eines tragischen Flugzeugabsturzes verlor. Seitdem lebt Tony bei seinem besten Freund Rhodey und mit ihm als tatkräftige Unterstützung kämpft er als Iron Man gegen das Verbrechen. Soviel zum canon. xD Mein headcanon ist nun, dass Tony (der der brillanteste Ingenieur der Welt ist) von SHIELD angeheuert wird, um beim Super Soldier Projekt mitzuhelfen, welches erst jetzt zum ersten Mal durchgeführt werden soll – und Steve in jung und dürr und Tony in noch jünger und dürrer sich also dadurch kennenlernen.



The Soldier and the Boy

It was half past ten and in less than eight hours the big operation would start so there was no reason at all for Tony to be tiptoeing around the premises searching for Steve’s room.
“Rhodey?” he whispered into his com. “Still nothing?”
“No, I actually found him two hours ago but I like watching you pointlessly running around!” Rhodey sounded angry.
“Yeah. Thanks a lot” Tony snapped muting the communication. He looked around but this grey, dimly lit corridor looked like the one before and the one before that so his only chance of finding him was searching behind every single door.
“Really, S.H.I.E.L.D…. billions of dollars at your hands but you can’t put any signs on your doors” Tony mumbled under his breath and started his search without much enthusiasm.
Twenty minutes later he was desperate and asked himself why he had come here in the first place: he would see Steve tomorrow no matter what so why was he wasting his time prying open doors that belonged to the government, only to find some shelves and abandoned labs?
He scowled, made his way over to the last door on this floor. There were no names, no signs, nothing to indicate that there would be something other than cleaning supplies in there. But Tony was determined to find his friend, so he put the key card he had taken-without-asking-and-copied-and-brought-back-found through the slider – only to find a dimly lit room full of old dirty boxes and surprisingly no Steve.
Tony groaned in frustration. What was he doing here anyway, he was wasting his time! He should just wait for tomorrow and...
A hand grabbed his shoulder, flinging him around. Tony yelped. Damn, he was in trouble now. Fury personally had forbidden him from entering when he wasn’t asked to work on the machines and now he got caught!
He brought up his hands to cover his face and reacted on instinct purely: he made a fist and swung it against his opponent, ready to run for it when the guy was busy avoiding the obvious punch.
To his everlasting surprise though, his fist connected with soft skin and a sharp cheekbone. A muffled cry was heard and abruptly the attacker let go of Tony’s shoulder and fell to the ground.
“What the…?” Tony was flabbergasted.
On the ground before him sat Steve staring up at him with huge surprised eyes, tentatively touching his bright red cheek.
“Ow” he said and Tony finally rushed to help him.
“Man, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see… yeah, well, you snuck up on me so it’s basically your fault and really, why do you not ever dodge something that comes flying towards your face and…”
“Tony. Please.” Steve shot him a weary look and Tony fell silent. He held out a hand and pulled his friend up. Tears were hanging in his lashes but Steve didn’t seem to care and wiped his face on his sleeve.
“Are you crying?” Tony asked nonetheless, with a broad grin on his face.
“Yes, Tony, I am crying. Overjoyed to see you here” Steve answered with a deadly glare but not a moment later he smiled and patted Tony on the shoulder. Although he was Tony’s senior by five years he was almost 4 inches shorter and Tony was sure he could have scooped him up like a toddler and carried him around in his arms.
“What are you doing here?” he asked only to receive another incredulous look from Steve.
“Really? You are asking me what I am doing on the premises of the government facility I was invited to when you are the one sneaking around like a thief?”
“Uhm… yeah.”
“Stark, I swear I’m gonna punch you one day.”
“You’d need a ladder for that, I daresay.”
“I never said I’d punch your face, buddy.”
They stared at each other for some more moments until Tony couldn’t keep his serious face any longer and laughed out loud. Steve joined him quickly.
“Come on, you big jerk. I’ll show you my room” Steve said after several moments and he led Tony back through the narrow hallways and into a much brighter part of the building.
“How did I miss that?” Tony asked.
“Because you are stupid” Steve explained.
Tony would have loved to poke him but Steve’s cheek had gone from red to blue so he decided to let that one slip.
They stopped in front of an old, wooden door which looked so alien in the metallic green wall surrounding it that Tony was sure he had to stand in front of a very elaborate illusion. When Steve produced a real actual key on a chain to open it, Tony snorted.
“Are you serious?” he asked barely concealing his grin.
Steve hesitated for a moment. He didn’t look at Tony but the blush was clearly visible on his neck too.
“I had a normal room when I moved in here. But after I lost my keycard for the third time, Agent Hill was… I mean then I got this one and the chain with the key. I know it’s old fashioned but I like it!” he added to defend himself against Tony’s howling laughter.
Scowling he opened the door and shoved Tony inside.
“You really are a sweetheart, Stevie” Tony mumbled and grinned some more. Steve waved him off impatiently and gestured to the desk chair while he himself sat down on his bed.
Tony took his time looking around. He had never been in Steve’s room. Fury still wasn’t too happy to have the whole project taking place on the ground and not on the Helicarrier. Having “kiddies” round around and “mess with the test subject” was also on his list of things to be absolutely avoided so if it had been up to him Tony would still call Steve “Mister Rogers” and never ever set a foot in this room.
The last part he wouldn't have regretted, Tony immediately thought, as he looked around.
“It’s …kinda…” Tony started but he couldn't think of a non insulting word. The place didn’t have a window nor any tapestry. A bed, a desk, a chair and some boxes, probably to store Steve’s few personal belongings and everything was completely devoid of colors and
“... incredibly depressing”, as he told Steve then.
It was only when he turned to take a closer look that he saw them: the thirty-something paintings and drafts overlooking Steve’s bed.
The thin white sheets of paper overlapped each other, splashes of bright, beautiful reds and yellows on them, strong hues of blue, lush greens, warm oranges and dozens of other shades Tony couldn’t even name.
He stared at the pictures, mouth hanging wide open.
“You know, at first I didn’t believe this whole art student talk of yours…” he said after a while. Steve laughed although he blushed fiercely.
“This is just…I had a lot of time in between trying to get into the army. I really was in art school for some time.”
Tony examined the paintings carefully while Steve shifted anxiously around. He even straightened his position in order to block Tony’s view. “They are really not that special…” Tony waved him off impatiently.
“They are brilliant” he said decisively. He blinked when he saw a rough sketch of Rhodey, Pepper and himself sitting around a table full of plates, bottles and half eaten pizza slices. Tony narrowed his eyes. “Is that…” he asked gesturing to the drawing in question.
“Y-yeah.” Steve shrugged but his blush intensified. “That’s from that one time you, Rhodey and Pepper…uhm…kidnapped me and took me to the bowling centre.”
Laughing Tony flopped down next to Steve onto the squeaky old bed. “Just make sure that Fury never gets his hands on those. He’d probably vaporize me where I stand. With that laser beam from his eye.”
Steve laughed and nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
They both fell silent and Tony marveled at the pictures and Steve’s obviously great talent.
“You really should have gone to university and studied art“ he said after a while. “Would have been way better than the army.”
“I like being in the army” Steve protested but Tony held up his hand to avoid any further discussion. They’d already had this argument three times: there was no way they’d ever agree on that and he really wasn’t in the mood for Steve’s stubbornness.
Steve sighed but said nothing. For the first time this evening Tony noticed how haggard Steve looked. Of course he was a scrawny guy but there was something in his eyes that didn’t feel right. Tony extended his hand not entirely sure what he wanted to do until it lay on Steve’s shoulder.
Steve wasn’t astonished or startled instead he smiled.
“Will you be there… tomorrow, I mean?” he asked quietly.
Tony nodded. “Of course. Someone has to run the engines and I don’t trust any of SHIELD’s personnel.” He smirked. “Besides, I might have made the mechanics just a tad more complicated than necessary, so Fury has to rely on me.”
Steve frowned. “You shouldn’t temper with Shield property, Tony” he chided but Tony just raised an eyebrow.
“Says the guy who runs off for a round of bowling with three underage kids? Yeah, you clearly are the responsible adult here.”
Steve blushed. “That wasn’t…”
Tony squeezed his shoulder and laughed. “That wasn’t what? Disobeying a direct order? You are actually worse than me, Stevie. No one told me to make the converter user-friendly but you were clearly forbidden from leaving the facility on your own, as I recall it. What a poor soldier you are…”
Steve scowled and shook Tony’s hand of his shoulder. “That’s not what I meant!” he said angrily.
Tony froze. Did he really upset Steve that much? He didn’t know what to say. Should he apologize? But what for? He obviously hadn’t wanted to hurt Steve and really he should loosen up a bit anyway, it wasn’t Tony’s fault that he…
“Sorry” Steve said and offered him a smile.
Relief rushed through Tony’s body like a great warm wave. It was ridiculous how one of Steve’s smiles could make him calm down in seconds - or make him excited and giddy.
Perhaps Rhodey’s theory about Tony having a giant crush on Steve wasn’t all that absurd after all.
He felt heat rising to his cheeks and shook his head furiously. He wouldn’t think about that again. No. That wasn’t true.
“No, I…” he stammered and cleared his throat.“It was just a silly joke. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be” Steve explained. “I am a bit… nervous, I guess.” He lowered his head. His fingers tangled and untangled themselves in his lap and Tony was about to touch him again when Steve said: “I didn’t want to defy Fury, you know. Shield gave me an opportunity greater than everything else I could have ever hoped to achieve on my own. I am grateful for that. But…” He looked up again and smiled halfheartedly. “I never went bowling before. Perhaps I…I just wanted to do it as myself. One last time before I become someone else forever.”
Steve laughed but it sounded bitter and afraid and suddenly Tony knew exactly why he had come here.
“You are not going to be someone else, Steve” he blurted out. His mouth went dry. “At least… not for me.”
The words spilled out of him in a hurry and Tony blushed when Steve looked at him with those piercing blue eyes. It seemed as if he didn’t quite know whether to smile or to cast him a suspicious look but he grinned eventually.
“Thanks, Tony. That means a lot to me.”
There it was again, that giddy feeling in his stomach that made him light headed and oh God who was he kidding, he was head over heels for Steve, butterflies taking off in his stomach and all that.
Damn.
“I…yeah, yeah, stop it or we’ll have to kiss in some minutes” he said his mouth spilling out his secret fantasies because that was clearly the best solution to his problem. He coughed, trying to cover up his blush and asked: “But what was that about you never going bowling before?”
“Oh that…” Steve tried to laugh it off but he failed miserably and Tony was actually glad for the distraction. “I wasn’t very…popular so to say. Never had the chance before. So…thanks again.”
Tony was stunned. How could Steve, the funniest, nicest and friendliest guy he had ever met not have been popular? The world was a stupid place, he decided before he flashed Steve a grin.
“What about your friend? Bucky? You mentioned him quite often when we had that testing about the…”
Tony stopped midsentence when he saw a pained expression crossing Steve’s face, a look of such hurt and devastation that he immediately reached for Steve’s hand and held it tightly in his own. Steve smiled.
“I…uh… bad memories?”
“Kind of.” Steve answered. “He is… was my best friend. He died in a plane crash about a year ago. They never found the body.”
Tony swallowed. A sharp pain shot through his body. He knew that feeling, this horrible gut-wrenching feeling of guilt and pain and grief.
Getting used to the past tense whenever someone spoke about his dad had been hard, but being drawn into this deep black pit over and over again even after months had passed was almost unbearable. He knew what Steve was going through and he would have given everything to lift that weight from his shoulder.
“I am so sorry for your loss” he whispered and although he knew from his own experience that it was nothing more than a hollow phrase, Steve’s eyes lit up nonetheless and the smile returned to his face.
“Thank you, Tony.” He squeezed his hands and tried a happy laugh that was almost convincing. “Perhaps we should change the subject.”
Tony grinned although it was painful. “Yeah...”
He was still holding Steve’s hand in his own and when Steve gave him a curios glance, Tony felt heat rushing through his body. He gulped, opened his mouth to say something...
Later on he would claim that it was the heat of the moment, the hastiness of youth and a sudden sense of desperation and not wanting to lose anyone else ever again.
But all Tony could think about in this very instant was that he needed to kiss Steve’s mouth and let his hands roam over his friend’s body to make him forget all that had happened.
So he lunged forward, pressing his mouth on Steve’s, pushing him back onto the bad.
Steve yelped, flinching back though Tony didn’t let go, moving ruthlessly against his body and his lips, quietly moaning Steve’s name.
“Tony!”
Tony froze, immediately letting go of Steve’s hand and crawling backwards to put as much space as possible between them.
“I’m so... I...Steve, I’m...” Tony stammered. He could still taste him on his lips, feeling light-headed and oh so very stupid.
Steve pointedly avoided looking at him and his face had become so red that Tony feared he would burst into flames.
“That was...” he finally said, sounding slightly out of breath. “What was that, Tony?”
Tony clenched his fist. He hated admitting defeat, but the one thing he hated even more was feeling rejected. He looked away.
“Come on, Steve. Even you should know what that was, being popular or not”, he mumbled.
Steve snorted. “Don’t play smart with me, Stark”, he growled. “I want to know what you were thinking!”
“What do you think I could have been thinking?” Tony all but shouted back, willing the quiver in his voice away. “I was obviously hoping that you would like me!”
“I do like you!”
“But...but not in the same way as I do!” Tony knew how childish that sounded but he couldn’t care less. He felt his throat tighten and coughed to suppress a half strangled sob.
“Tony...” Steve sighed, rubbing his face. “This is not...”
“I get it, alright?” Tony interrupted him angrily. He surely couldn’t stand any pity right now. “You are not into guys or at least into me, I get it, I’m not stupid...”
“That’s not what I meant!” Steve screamed back, startling Tony who went silent immediately, staring wide eyed at Steve. “God, boy, let me talk...”
Instead of going on, though, Steve sighed, shaking his head and glaring at Tony for some moments.
“This” he finally said and it seemed like it was taking him a great deal of effort to do so “is never going to work out.”
“Why not?” Tony quipped immediately.
“First of all, I am way too old for you.”
“That’s bullshit!”
“Tony!”
“No, seriously...”
“Shut up! You are barely seventeen!”
“Yes and you are twenty-three! Come on, that’s perfectly normal!”
Steve’s look suddenly softened and he smiled. Tony felt like puking.
“Tony, please. I am a soldier. And after tomorrow there is no telling where exactly I’ll be headed off to so you surely wouldn’t want to date a guy you’ll possibly never see again, right?”
“Don’t you dare talking to me like that” Tony snapped. “I am not a child anymore, no matter what you say.”
“You are right”, Steve admitted. “You are my friend for whom I’m deeply grateful”, he carried on, ignoring Tony’s exasperated groan. “And because of that there is absolutely no way that I’m allowing you to waste yourself away on me.”
“What?!” Tony got up, staring at Steve incredulously. “Are you insane?”
“I’m getting the impression that I’m the only one who is still right in the head here”, Steve said and before Tony could say another word he was suddenly standing in front of him, cupping his face. “Please, Tony. I cannot give you what you want. You have to understand that.” The look in his eyes was firm but not without kindness and just the right amount of pity to piss Tony off – and to make him lose all his willpower.
Tony closed his eyes, pressing his cheek into Steve’s palm.
“I wouldn’t be wasted on you” he whispered. “You are the best man I’ve ever known, Steve, bringing out the best in me just by standing next to me. You are brave and stronger than anyone else and I want to be near you all the time because I...I lo-.,,”
“Stop!” Steve interrupted him breathlessly and Tony felt as if he had punched him in the guts. Steve withdrew his hand and turned his back on Tony.
“You ... you need to go”, Steve said. “Please.”
“Steve, I...”
“No! Go! Leave me alone, for God’s sake!”
Tony jerked back, the harsh words cutting into him like a knife. He shuddered, trying to say something more, to maybe convince him after all – but as he couldn’t think of anything, he turned to leave the room.
At the door he stopped.
“Tell me”, he said. “If we had met in a different way... do you think we could have worked this out?”
“Goodbye, Tony”, came the ice cold reply.
Tony started to run, slamming the door behind him and acting on mere instinct as he left the building. As soon as he was out, he put the armor on and took off at hazardous speed. He was trying to stifle his sobs as Rhodey screamed at him through the com, demanding to know what he had been thinking to shut him out for so long. It barely worked.

When they saw each other again on the next morning, they didn’t talk and when Steve stumbled out of the machine, two times bigger and fifteen times stronger, Tony could barely look at him.
Steve was ushered away almost immediately and for the longest time they were merely the soldier and the boy who had met under the wrong circumstances.

- End

Comments

[der_jemand]

Aber, aber... COMFORT! Mehr Comfort! JETZT!

Und ansonsten absolut adorable. Gott sind sie süß. SIND SIE SÜSS.

[nessaniel.livejournal.com]

It's in your head! =DDD because I ran out of time, damn it

Ich hab diesen Kink für ihre Age-Difference, das ist unglaublich... ALL THE FEELS DDDx

Ich bin auch der Meinung, dass sich Rhodey und Tony vorher ordentlich streiten. Weil Rhodey eifersüchtig ist. Bzw. weil sein Dad auch bei der Army war (screw the canon, I have money) und er Tony sozusagen davor schützen will, sich auch mit so jemandem einzulassen, denn Rhodey selbst weiß, wie sehr man drunter leidet...

Oh great, I made myself sad.;___;