Intimität: "Hände" (für mich)
Sep. 5th, 2012 10:58 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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120_minutenTeam: Novalis
Challenge: Intimität: "Hände" (für mich)
Fandom: The social Network
Pairing: Mark/Eduardo
Vorwort: Die AU, wo Eduardo Spiderman ist, einfach weil ... Andrew Garfield! <3
Warnungen: Angst und Kitsch - das übliche also. Und in englisch und NICHT gebetat. (Und im Halbschlaf geschrieben.)
Inhalt: "You run around in tights and fight evil green monsters and space aliens and let people shot at you. And you're scared of Palo Alto?"
Der dritte und letzte Teil!
Direkte Fortsetzung zu diesem Teil.
Mark takes a deep breath. It sounds as if it hurts. "It must have been hard to compete against Facebook. But it’s also hard to compete against people whose lives need saving. You can’t…I can't ever win against that.“
Eduardo feels sucker-punched. He doesn’t even know what to say to that.
Maybe ‚but I would always, always come for you‘, because it is true or ‚Mark, I swear, one day I won’t get you down from yet another roof!‘ even though it isn‘t.
In the end he says neither.
Because a part of him understands Mark so well. Maybe better than he understands himself.
Eduardo has never really cared about Facebook. Not at all.
And still he has been adamant to be a part of it, to be important for Facebook. He went to court, just to secure the right to see his name on the goddamn masthead again. He all but forced Mark to write his name on something he couldn't care less about.
It wasn't vanity. And it wasn't out of spite.
'I'll bet what you hated the most is that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am!'
Because…being a part of Facebook? It has always meant being part of the one thing Mark loves the most.
Being part of Facebook has always meant Mark would never ever be able to forget him.
Sitting alone on the rooftop is basically the same, except without lawyers.
"You scare me sometimes“, Eduardo whispers.
And he doesn't even know if he means he's scared for Mark…reckless, careless Mark …or scared because there isn't much he wouldn't do for him.
But maybe Mark understands it exactly the way he means it. Out of the corner of his eyes Eduardo sees his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. "You scare me a lot of the time,“ he offers, which, coming from Mark, is huge.
"Is it the tights?" Eduardo asks. He can't help it sometimes.
Mark makes a sound at the back of his throat that is probably meant to be a snort, but it sounds like startled laughter. "Yes. Yes, Wardo, it might be the tights."
"Thought so."
Sometimes everything is so easy.
Sometimes it's easier with Mark than with everybody else in the whole world, as if their brains and bodies are connected somehow ('wireless', Mark would probably add) and it reminds Eduardo why it's all worth it.
The morning sun is a warm, orange ball by now, gently floating above the skyscrapers. Eduardo listens to Mark breathing and watches the gentle, unconscious movement of his fingers.
He really wants to hold his hand.
Mark's hands have always been the most expressive part of him. Maybe that's why Mark so often buries his hands in his pockets, because they always, always give him away.
It's probably sappy and stupid since they're not 13 year old girls or anything. But sometimes Eduardo just… wants to entwine their fingers and hold Mark's hand.
"I'm also really scared of Palo Alto", he says, because if they're about to talk feelings now, he might as well go all the way.
Mark's head jerks up in surprise. For seconds he doesn't say anything, but he's finally looking at Eduardo and maybe…maybe he's even seeing him.
"You're a superhero," he says slowly. "You run around in tights and fight evil green monsters and space aliens and let people shot at you. And you're scared of Palo Alto?" It sounds like a question. And maybe it sounds a little bit ridiculous if you put it like that.
"I'd rather fight an army of space aliens in nothing but Speedos than go back to Palo Alto and watch…," Eduardo pauses and swallows, unable to continue.
'…than watch us fall apart again,' he thinks.
Palo Alto is where everything began to go south.
In Palo Alto is everything Eduardo has to compete against. It might not be people whose lives need saving, but it's Facebook, Mark's monument, Mark's life work, Mark's…everything.
'Can't ever win against that.'
Palo Alto is the place where Mark started to look at him as if he was seeing a stranger. As if he was comparing Eduardo to all those people there who were so much like Mark and so little like him…and as if, for the first time, Eduardo fell short of Mark's expectations.
It hurt like nothing else ever did. Maybe even more than seeing Mark's impassive face across the table during the dispositions.
Just thinking about going back there makes something clench deep in his stomach.
"I see," Mark says quietly. And maybe he really does.
He takes some time to think about it and right this moment Eduardo is content just sitting here and watching the sunlight shine on Mark's profile.
Eventually Mark clears his throat.
"It's…you're not…I mean…," he stops awkwardly. "It's not just you, you know…? It reminds me, too."
Eduardo frowns. "Palo Alto?"
"No. Yes." He shrugs and tries to look indifferent, but fails. When he speaks again his voice is oddly soft, barely audible. "You… not coming to Palo Alto when I asked you to."
Oh, Eduardo thinks and for a second he feels like falling down, as if the vertigo finally catches up with him.
OH.
He can still remember that night in Palo Alto. Sean and the damn rain and the house full of people to whom Eduardo didn't belong. And he can still picture Mark's face in his mind, pale and worn-out and angry, when they had argued that night.
' If you don't come out here you're gonna get left behind'.
You're gonna get left behind.
That was the only thing Eduardo had heard. But maybe he should've listened to all the other things Mark had also said.
'I want...I...I want, I need you out here.'
"Okay. I get it," he says, feeling strangely breathless. "I guess, we just…have a lot of issues."
"Obviously." Mark sighs wearily and rubs his hand across his eyes.
"God, this sucks!" he exclaims heatedly and yep, Eduardo can relate. "It's like our own ghosts keep coming back to haunt us. It's just a stupid visit in a stupid town! This shouldn't be so hard."
He sounds honestly frustrated and Eduardo really shouldn't find this so endearing. Like at all. But Mark is only ever upset when things are really important to him. It took Eduardo some time to realize it and when he had, it had been almost too late.
"No, it shouldn't." This time he does reach for Mark's hand and almost surprisingly Mark doesn't push him away. He looks at him warily as Eduardo carefully entwines their fingers.
It really shouldn't be so hard, Eduardo thinks.
Because this time they actually do talk, maybe not right away, but eventually they do. And this time they'll know all the little things that went wrong the first time.
They're not going to make the same mistakes again.
Not this time.
"How about this," Eduardo says and takes a deep breath. "You'll fly back to Palo Alto and I promise I'll accompany you."
"You will?" Mark sounds completely taken off guard.
"Yes, but not for the whole week. Maybe for three days. Like a weekend trip, you know? Where we actually to spend time with each other. And afterwards I'll fly back to save New York from Space Aliens, and you can go on 36 hrs-coding sprees and geek-talk you way through your shareholder meetings and do other important CEO-stuff. You don't need me for that anyway."
Mark nods slowly, still a little skeptical. "And then?"
"When you're finished, you come back," Eduardo says simply. "Whenever that is. And I will still be here."
Mark doesn't answer right away, but he scoots a little bit closer to Eduardo and rests his head on his shoulder.
"I guess, I could live with that," he says eventually.
Eduardo smiles. "Yeah, me too."
"And Wardo?"
"Hm?"
Even without seeing his face Eduardo can feel Mark grinning. "Since we're on a rooftop now anyway. You should know, I wouldn't be…you know… opposed against being rescued by Spiderman."
Eduardo groans.
"Seriously. You were right," Mark continues. "It's the tights."
"Mark. Shut up."
"I'm just saying."
"…"
"They are kind of sexy."
"Mark!"
The end
I looked over the balcony
rising from the sea
sunshine coming overhead
the sky lit up like a cigarette
I didn't even go to sleep
when it was coming over me
Mark Mallman: "True Love"
Challenge: Intimität: "Hände" (für mich)
Fandom: The social Network
Pairing: Mark/Eduardo
Vorwort: Die AU, wo Eduardo Spiderman ist, einfach weil ... Andrew Garfield! <3
Warnungen: Angst und Kitsch - das übliche also. Und in englisch und NICHT gebetat. (Und im Halbschlaf geschrieben.)
Inhalt: "You run around in tights and fight evil green monsters and space aliens and let people shot at you. And you're scared of Palo Alto?"
Der dritte und letzte Teil!
Direkte Fortsetzung zu diesem Teil.
Mark takes a deep breath. It sounds as if it hurts. "It must have been hard to compete against Facebook. But it’s also hard to compete against people whose lives need saving. You can’t…I can't ever win against that.“
Eduardo feels sucker-punched. He doesn’t even know what to say to that.
Maybe ‚but I would always, always come for you‘, because it is true or ‚Mark, I swear, one day I won’t get you down from yet another roof!‘ even though it isn‘t.
In the end he says neither.
Because a part of him understands Mark so well. Maybe better than he understands himself.
Eduardo has never really cared about Facebook. Not at all.
And still he has been adamant to be a part of it, to be important for Facebook. He went to court, just to secure the right to see his name on the goddamn masthead again. He all but forced Mark to write his name on something he couldn't care less about.
It wasn't vanity. And it wasn't out of spite.
'I'll bet what you hated the most is that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am!'
Because…being a part of Facebook? It has always meant being part of the one thing Mark loves the most.
Being part of Facebook has always meant Mark would never ever be able to forget him.
Sitting alone on the rooftop is basically the same, except without lawyers.
"You scare me sometimes“, Eduardo whispers.
And he doesn't even know if he means he's scared for Mark…reckless, careless Mark …or scared because there isn't much he wouldn't do for him.
But maybe Mark understands it exactly the way he means it. Out of the corner of his eyes Eduardo sees his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. "You scare me a lot of the time,“ he offers, which, coming from Mark, is huge.
"Is it the tights?" Eduardo asks. He can't help it sometimes.
Mark makes a sound at the back of his throat that is probably meant to be a snort, but it sounds like startled laughter. "Yes. Yes, Wardo, it might be the tights."
"Thought so."
Sometimes everything is so easy.
Sometimes it's easier with Mark than with everybody else in the whole world, as if their brains and bodies are connected somehow ('wireless', Mark would probably add) and it reminds Eduardo why it's all worth it.
The morning sun is a warm, orange ball by now, gently floating above the skyscrapers. Eduardo listens to Mark breathing and watches the gentle, unconscious movement of his fingers.
He really wants to hold his hand.
Mark's hands have always been the most expressive part of him. Maybe that's why Mark so often buries his hands in his pockets, because they always, always give him away.
It's probably sappy and stupid since they're not 13 year old girls or anything. But sometimes Eduardo just… wants to entwine their fingers and hold Mark's hand.
"I'm also really scared of Palo Alto", he says, because if they're about to talk feelings now, he might as well go all the way.
Mark's head jerks up in surprise. For seconds he doesn't say anything, but he's finally looking at Eduardo and maybe…maybe he's even seeing him.
"You're a superhero," he says slowly. "You run around in tights and fight evil green monsters and space aliens and let people shot at you. And you're scared of Palo Alto?" It sounds like a question. And maybe it sounds a little bit ridiculous if you put it like that.
"I'd rather fight an army of space aliens in nothing but Speedos than go back to Palo Alto and watch…," Eduardo pauses and swallows, unable to continue.
'…than watch us fall apart again,' he thinks.
Palo Alto is where everything began to go south.
In Palo Alto is everything Eduardo has to compete against. It might not be people whose lives need saving, but it's Facebook, Mark's monument, Mark's life work, Mark's…everything.
'Can't ever win against that.'
Palo Alto is the place where Mark started to look at him as if he was seeing a stranger. As if he was comparing Eduardo to all those people there who were so much like Mark and so little like him…and as if, for the first time, Eduardo fell short of Mark's expectations.
It hurt like nothing else ever did. Maybe even more than seeing Mark's impassive face across the table during the dispositions.
Just thinking about going back there makes something clench deep in his stomach.
"I see," Mark says quietly. And maybe he really does.
He takes some time to think about it and right this moment Eduardo is content just sitting here and watching the sunlight shine on Mark's profile.
Eventually Mark clears his throat.
"It's…you're not…I mean…," he stops awkwardly. "It's not just you, you know…? It reminds me, too."
Eduardo frowns. "Palo Alto?"
"No. Yes." He shrugs and tries to look indifferent, but fails. When he speaks again his voice is oddly soft, barely audible. "You… not coming to Palo Alto when I asked you to."
Oh, Eduardo thinks and for a second he feels like falling down, as if the vertigo finally catches up with him.
OH.
He can still remember that night in Palo Alto. Sean and the damn rain and the house full of people to whom Eduardo didn't belong. And he can still picture Mark's face in his mind, pale and worn-out and angry, when they had argued that night.
' If you don't come out here you're gonna get left behind'.
You're gonna get left behind.
That was the only thing Eduardo had heard. But maybe he should've listened to all the other things Mark had also said.
'I want...I...I want, I need you out here.'
"Okay. I get it," he says, feeling strangely breathless. "I guess, we just…have a lot of issues."
"Obviously." Mark sighs wearily and rubs his hand across his eyes.
"God, this sucks!" he exclaims heatedly and yep, Eduardo can relate. "It's like our own ghosts keep coming back to haunt us. It's just a stupid visit in a stupid town! This shouldn't be so hard."
He sounds honestly frustrated and Eduardo really shouldn't find this so endearing. Like at all. But Mark is only ever upset when things are really important to him. It took Eduardo some time to realize it and when he had, it had been almost too late.
"No, it shouldn't." This time he does reach for Mark's hand and almost surprisingly Mark doesn't push him away. He looks at him warily as Eduardo carefully entwines their fingers.
It really shouldn't be so hard, Eduardo thinks.
Because this time they actually do talk, maybe not right away, but eventually they do. And this time they'll know all the little things that went wrong the first time.
They're not going to make the same mistakes again.
Not this time.
"How about this," Eduardo says and takes a deep breath. "You'll fly back to Palo Alto and I promise I'll accompany you."
"You will?" Mark sounds completely taken off guard.
"Yes, but not for the whole week. Maybe for three days. Like a weekend trip, you know? Where we actually to spend time with each other. And afterwards I'll fly back to save New York from Space Aliens, and you can go on 36 hrs-coding sprees and geek-talk you way through your shareholder meetings and do other important CEO-stuff. You don't need me for that anyway."
Mark nods slowly, still a little skeptical. "And then?"
"When you're finished, you come back," Eduardo says simply. "Whenever that is. And I will still be here."
Mark doesn't answer right away, but he scoots a little bit closer to Eduardo and rests his head on his shoulder.
"I guess, I could live with that," he says eventually.
Eduardo smiles. "Yeah, me too."
"And Wardo?"
"Hm?"
Even without seeing his face Eduardo can feel Mark grinning. "Since we're on a rooftop now anyway. You should know, I wouldn't be…you know… opposed against being rescued by Spiderman."
Eduardo groans.
"Seriously. You were right," Mark continues. "It's the tights."
"Mark. Shut up."
"I'm just saying."
"…"
"They are kind of sexy."
"Mark!"
The end
I looked over the balcony
rising from the sea
sunshine coming overhead
the sky lit up like a cigarette
I didn't even go to sleep
when it was coming over me
Mark Mallman: "True Love"
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no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 08:06 am (UTC)Sitting alone on the rooftop is basically the same, except without lawyers. Ich weiß nicht wieso, aber irgendwie liebe ich diesen Satz. Sehr.
Außerdem gibt es eine Art Happy End und das war nach dem ganzen Drama wirklich nötig! <3
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 08:58 am (UTC)Schön, dass es dir gefallen hat! *_* *freu* Ich schreib sie auch einfach wahnsinnig gerne. Und Spiderman!Andrew Garfield ist einfach ein riesiger Kink von mir. XD
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 10:36 am (UTC)Oh mein Gott, woooooooooow. *________* Ich mein, ich hab mich auf dein Wardo!Spiderman- Ding gefreut, seit du davon das erste Mal gesprochen hast (obwohl ich damals und auch heute keine Ahnung von The Social Network hatte/habe xD) und wooooooow du hast ungefähr ALL MEINE GEHEIMEN KINKS MIT EINGEBRACHT.
Sprachlosigkeit, alte Fehler, die zurückkommen, um sie in den Hintern zu beißen, MISSVERSTÄNDNISSE Q_Q
Because…being a part of Facebook? It has always meant being part of the one thing Mark loves the most. Being part of Facebook has always meant Mark would never ever be able to forget him.
Ich glaube, das sind meine Lieblingszeilen: dieses... er tut ihm weh, weil er einfach nicht mehr weiter weiß und keine Ahnung hat, wie er ihn sonst auf sich aufmerksam machen soll. Was kindisch ist aber er kann nicht anders. *SCHLUCHZ*
"When you're finished, you come back," Eduardo says simply. "Whenever that is. And I will still be here."
Und dann sieht er es sein und er wächst über sich hinaus und dann ist da ein Happy End für diese beiden und ohhhh Q_______Q
Einfach alles ist wundervoll an dieser Fanfic. Wirklich. EINFACH ALLES.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 10:46 am (UTC)Danke für diesen langen und wundervollen Kommentar, der meinen Tag gleich um 80% verbessert. <3 (Donnerstage sucken sonst einfach nur...)
Ui, geheime Kinks! Erzähl mir mehr! Ich befriedige doch immer gerne geheime kinks. *g*
Ich liebe Missverständnisse und schlechte Kommunikation auch unglaublich, auch wenns eigentlich ätzend und herzzereißend ist dabei zu zu sehen wie zwei Charas sich so quälen, obwohl es gar nicht sein müsste. Aber offenbar bin ich heimlicher Sadist. Und Masochist.
Ich hab übrigens schon mit der "Expendables"-fic geliebäugelt und wollte mal kurz fragen - muss man dafür Teil 1 oder 2 gesehen haben? XD Weil ich hab nämlich keinen Plan, um was es geht ...
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 11:08 am (UTC)OMG KOMM HER SCHWESTER IM GEISTE UND LASS DICH HERZEN UND DRÜCKEN UND KÜSSEN!
Ich liebe solches Storys einfach nur, vermutlich gerade wegen des Herzschmerzes (Ich hab bei Harry Potter 5 so geflennt, als am Ende klar war, dass Sirius nur sterben musste, weil ein KOMMUNIKATIONSPROBLEM BESTAND. *schluchz*) Ich muss mich endlich auch mal an so etwas versuchen... *fest vornehm*
muss man dafür Teil 1 oder 2 gesehen haben?
Ich würde ja am liebsten sagen "NUR TEIL ZWEI!" einfach weil der FIlm das lustigste und bescheuertste (und slashigste @_@) ist, was ich seit Avengers im Kino gesehen habe. XDD Aber wenn man keine hirnlose Action mag, dann vielleicht wohl eher nicht so. q.q
Aber für meine FF reicht es, wenn du dir den Trailer zum zweiten Film (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-01tT4fQ1gM) anschaust (der Plot ist wirklich völlig unwichtig xD) und vielleicht kurz einen Blick auf die Cast (http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y112/nessaniel/678227cf.jpg) wirfst, damit man zu den Namen auch ein Gesicht vor Augen hat? xD
Aber sonst muss man nur wissen, dass Ross (bei mir) in einem Flugzeug wohnt, mit Christmas so gut wie verheiratet ist (ernsthaft xD Dies Sprüche im Film. <333), dass er eine Bande von knallharten Söldnern anführt und Billy der Neue im Team ist.
Mehr muss man wirklich nicht wissen (außer vielleicht, dass ich geistesgestört bin, weil ich in diesem Film alles slashe, was nicht bei drei auf den Bäumen ist XD) und ich würd mich total freuen, wenn du sie lesen würdest (sowie die zig anderen Kapitel, die ich mich zu schreiben bemühe) XD
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 11:22 am (UTC)Und ach man kann mit ein bisschen Mühe wirklich ALLES SLASHEN! ALLES!
Also keine Hemmungen! ;D
Und Gott ja ... HP - Missverständnisse galore. Sirius war ja so ein tragischer Charakter...
no subject
Date: 2012-09-06 11:36 am (UTC)Das Problem ist auch eher, dass man sich bei dem Film kein bisschen Mühe geben muss, es springt einen ALLES an. XD Es ist großartig: wenn du Zeit hast, geh rein (aber nur, wenn dich spritzendes Blut und Co. nicht zu sehr stören, das "Ab 18" ist schon gerechtfertigt xD)!
Sirius war ja so ein tragischer Charakter...
*heult still und leise in sich hinein* Ich glaube das Schlimmste für mich, war, als rauskam, dass Remus nicht eingeweiht worden war, in die ganze Geheiminsträger-Tauschkiste. Da war für mich klar, dass Sirius und er auch massive Kommunikationsprobleme miteinander gehabt haben müssen, vielleicht verdächtigt Sirius ihn sogar, bei den Todessern mitzumachen (Sirius ist ja nun nicht der hellste Stern am Himmel *badum tsch*) und alles ist schrecklich und furchtbar und dann kommen 13 schreckliche und furchtbare Jahre Azkaban und dann kommt sein schrecklicher und furchtbarer Tod. Q_Q