When it just doesn't happen

[chija.livejournal.com]

Team:

Dean

Challenge:

Karte 2, "Nicht falsch, nur anders."

Fandom:

Original | Vampire: The Masquerade/Coburg @ night

Charaktere:

Karolina Kurkova

Worte:

489

Kommentar:

Die Challenge ist nicht in der Geschichte direkt drin, sondern beschreibt mehr die Geisteshaltung dahinter, die nicht unbedingt dem aktuellen gesellschaftlichen Ideal entspricht, um es mal so zu sagen. Den Hauptcharakter kennt ihr schon aus Genie und Wahnsinn. Englisch, weil ich meistens Englisch denke, wenn es um Karolina geht, weil sie länger in der englischsprachigen Welt war als in der deutschsprachigen.

When she was little, she had always longed for someone to grow old with together. She had never found out why, but the concept of being in love for the rest of one's life, and gradually, yeah, withering next to each other had been strangely appealing to her. When she got older, she had barely had the patience to wait to become a woman. Being a girl was great. Being a girl adored and admired by many, men and women alike, was even better. But being a woman was, were beauty lay. Not being mistaken for the maid when one entered the room, but being recognized as the lady. Not having to constantly correct those who insisted on calling one by strange, infantilising nicknames. Not searching oneself anymore, but resting in one's body, in one's mind. And having a partner at ones side, who did so, as well.
She had never shared those thoughts with anyone, though. In a world that agonizingly raced for the younger, the faster, who would have understood her?
And so she waited, quietly, looking forward to all of this coming true.

Except, it never did.

Karolina sighed and examined her face in the mirror. It was the perfect, crease-free face of the 21-year-old girl she had been in the autumn of 1921. That she still was, in a way, 90 long years later. Someone had once told her that time began to race as soon as one had got used to living eternally. It never had for her. She still saw every single day as the same, long arrangement. An arrangement she shared with many, but then again, with no one. Of course, she had never found that person she wanted to grow old together with. One does not do this at the age of 21. One does that even less after one's death. She had almost ceased to care. Love was not that important anymore. Although she knew she was, technically spoken, still capable of it. Her clan made it possible. However…

Suddenly angry, Karolina turned away from the mirror. Who the hell was she kidding? Musing about age would do nothing, no matter how much the conversation with Arkwright and the potential death of the whole domain if Frank failed had brought those thoughts up again. She straightened and reached for the dress she had chosen for the night. The dress of a lady, as usual. Dance and human society demanded for the younger, the faster. She was both. Vampiric society demanded for status and posture. She had both as well.
So what was she asking for? She smiled, put the thoughts aside and stepped out of the bathroom and, only minutes later, out into the night.

And like the fine mist after a chill night, the thought stayed back in front of the mirror, to catch her again, when she stood, when she thought.

Didn't we want to grow old together?