Nightmare [Hurt/Comfort - "Ich krieg' keine Luft" - für mich]

[peterhforalpha.livejournal.com]

Team: Drache

Challenge: Hurt/Comfort - “Ich krieg’ keine Luft” (für mich)

Titel: Nightmare

Fandom: 9-1-1

Charaktere: Buck, Tommy

Pairing: Buck x Tommy

Wörter: 549 Wörter

Anmerkung: Spoiler für 8x15, spielt kurz danach

Sprache: Englisch

The door shut with a loud bang which resonated in Buck’s body. In his heart. There was complete silence around him except his pounding heart as he watched through the glass door.

To his captain. Who was still on the other side.

Buck didn’t understand. Then he saw Bobby’s hand on the switch. He had closed the door.

Buck shook his head. “What are you doing, Cap?” His mind already knew what his heart didn’t want to understand yet.

Bobby took his helmet off, blood running out of his nose. “You’re gonna be ok, Buck,” he said, calm and collected. “They’re gonna need you.”

“No, no, I’m not ready for that,” Buck shouted. “You - you need to stay with us. I can’t do this without you.”

“You can.” Bobby was still so calm and Buck just wanted to shout. To shout and cry how unfair that was. He couldn’t lose his Captain. He couldn’t lose Bobby.

And then he cried.

His cry woke him up. He sat upright, trying to calm his beating heart. Trying to breathe properly but it was all not working. He was back in that tunnel. Back behind that door, unable to help.

Next to him he felt movement and then an arm around his shoulder.

“I can’t breathe,” Buck was able to murmur, still trying to control his breathing.

“I’ve got you,” Tommy whispered and his arms tightened around his body. “It was just a dream. You’re ok.”

Was he? Buck wasn’t sure if he was ok. He hadn’t been ok since that day.

Every night he was dreaming about it and he was sure he wasn’t the only one. He wasn’t the only one who was having nightmares. Who couldn’t shake that awful day. The entire team was dealing with this one way or another.

Buck should be there for them. He was trying. But they were blocking him out. He had no idea what Cap meant with his words. They didn’t need him. Buck wasn’t good enough to help them.

“Hey, stop these thoughts,” Tommy said quietly.

“How did you know?” Buck asked, his breathing finally calmer, now that he was concentrating on Tommy’s arms around him.

“Because I know you, Buck. You’re rarely nice to yourself and especially not after this dream. You’re having it for weeks. I would be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t know what was going on in your head.”

Buck sighed. “I just - I don’t know what else I should do. I’m trying to help them. But they won’t let me. Bobby -” Buck swallowed hard. “Bobby would know how he could help them.”

“It’s not your job to help them, Buck. You just need to be there. You all need to be together. Be a team. That’s what Bobby would have wanted.”

Buck leaned a little more into Tommy and Tommy pulled him back to lie down with him. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“This is pretty damn good,” Buck whispered as Tommy was stroking his hair.

“Then I’ll keep doing that. Every night if you need me to.”

“Thank you.” Buck wrapped his arm tightly around Tommy’s waist.

“You’re gonna be ok, Buck,” he said. “I know it’s hard to believe right now but you will be. You all will be ok again.”