H/C Flashback (fürs Team)

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H/C: Flashback
Team D.A.V.E.
Fandom: Guild Hunter Series (Bräuchte bitte einen Tag!)
Wörter: 1500
Charaktere: Aodhan, Illium (Smoke wird erwähnt)
Sprache: Englisch

Life was good, Aodhan noted on his way home. Home. He had a place he called home, people he called family, a best friend who has also turned into a lover. A partner on every level. Someone who stuck by his side no matter what. 

Aodhan was as always flying high above the clouds bathing in the light of the setting sun. He couldn’t wait to reach New York! The clouds beneath cleared up. But as he looked down, his heart froze over. He knew that place. He saw an angel in distress waving him down. She wore an eye catching red dress. He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he looked down again, the illusion was gone. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s over!” he said to himself and flew on. But the chill didn’t leave his heart. The angel he had seen there was long dead. Had been tortured and burned. Nothing was left of her and er equally evil partner, not even their names. He was a different man now. He knew who he was. And he was by far less naive now than he was two hundred years ago. He put more strength in the beats of his wings and focused on his decision to reach New York around sunrise. He craved his beloved man’s presence. His heat that could always melt the cold whenever it approached him.

Yes, he was much better now than he was only ten years ago, he had emerged from the shell he had hid himself inside to avoid more mental pain, more damage to his soul which felt as fractured as his irises. Only few knew about the dark moments that still haunted him from time to time. And now that he had been on a mission all by himself, the darkness was already starting to make itself known again.

He pushed every dark thought aside as Keir, the healer, had taught him. It was not the perfect coping mechanism, but he could not have a flashback here over the ocean. And when he got home he had better methods to deal with his feelings.

The next few hours he had to battle against storms, against rain. But he knew how to ride the winds. He was good at flying he assured himself. That was easy to forget when the one you spent most of your free time with was about to become the best flyer in the world. But he used the currents in the air to his advantage and so it wasn’t even dawn when the glittering lights of his home came into sight. He could reach out with his mind and get Illium to come to him. But he didn’t. He only let him know he was close. Illium seemed to be asleep.

His heart only felt slightly warmer than hours before when he had noticed the place from where he had been taken from the world for more than a year. The memories prodded at his consciousness. The fact that he was wet to the bones didn’t make it better. He imagined the smell of rotting flesh, more precisely: the smell of his own rotting wings. He suppressed the urge to vomit. Not long now until his light returned to his life. He concentrated on the good things in life to push the smell out of his nose. 

His landing on the Tower roof that morning was hard. He needed to feel! He needed warmth. The short pain in his legs stirred other memories though. Pain of a ripped-out heart. Pain of mutilated wings. Pain of thousands of cuts from a sadistic angel. He stumbled inside. He should fly to the balcony. He knew it but his wings burned from the exertion and the elevator was here so he pressed the button and got inside. He pressed the button to the floor with the private quarters of the Seven and closed his eyes. He could do this. Illium was close by. 

But as soon as the door of the elevator was closed, he really was back two hundred years in the past. He smelled of sweat. He smelled of grime, the rotting smell from his memory crept into his consciousness again. He was in a confined room that didn’t even let him stretch out his wings… He was an idiot. 

The door of the elevator opened, but the hallway was dark. Aodhan breathed heavily at this point as he stumbled out, mind barely present or else he would have noticed the small grey cat that looked at him, but then vanished. He couldn’t stay on his legs, much too weak from the long flight and the memories of the past. 

But before he hit the floor he was caught by strong arms. He could hear a voice talking to him, pulling him up. But he couldn’t register the words. Not yet. He fought against the memories. The pain. 

He was moved. When a door fell into the lock he startled and if he hadn’t been held this strongly he would have curled into himself. 

“Adi, Adi, come on. It’s just me. Your Blue. You’re home. You’re safe. You know I won’t let anything harm you!”

Blue. Illium. His best friend. His lover. Yes, this was his warmth. The warmth he had been craving for the last hours. The rotten smell retreated and was replaced by the well-known scent of his partner.

“Blue…” He opened his eyes. This was Illium’s apartment. Yes, he was safe. But the lingering feelings of pain and distress didn’t leave instantly.

“Yes, it’s me. Come, let’s get you dry, then you’ll feel better.”

“I need a shower.”

“Later. You need to get out of this mindset first.”

Illium had seen him have flashbacks. He knew what he was dealing with. And he knew how to care for him for which Aodhan loved him even more. So he let Illium get him to the bathroom, made sure the light was on before Aodhan stepped into the room. Then Illium st Aodhan down on the toilet seat to get a large, soft towel. 

“Can I dry your wings?” he asked.

Aodhan thought about the question and shook his head. He couldn’t bear to be touched there at this moment. So Illium let him do that himself but he dried Aodhan’s hair.

When he was no longer dripping wet, he got another towel. “Come, let’s get you dry clothes then you’ll feel better.”

Aodhan nodded and they went to the living room. Illium stayed always at his side. Getting undressed was hard but he also couldn’t bear anyone’s help at the moment. Only when he wore a new protective layer of soft cotton fabric could he looked at Illium so that he sat down next to him and embraced him. Only now the tension slowly receded from Aodhan’s muscles. 

“What happened?” Illium asked quietly, when Aodhan’s breathing was back to normal.

“Too much… I flew over the place they…” Aodhan’s voice was soft. “… they took me. Then it started to rain. Something above the sea smelled rotten… My wings hurt from flying too fast… I could only land on the roof and the elevator finished it…”

Illium nodded. That were so many triggers of Aodhan’s most traumatic experience. 

“Let’s rest. Then we can take a bath.”

Aodhan nodded. “Thank you…”

“For?”

“Not treating me like a … something broken.” A broken doll. Yes, Illium cared for him now, but he didn’t feel pity in anything his partner did.

“You’re not anything like that. You are my wonderful Adi. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” They lay down on the bed. Aodhan looked for Illium’s warmth but forbid him from placing his wing over him. He couldn’t be confined at this moment. But Illium accepted every boundary without a word. He knew exactly that Aodhan would take from him whatever he needed to shake the past off again. Aodhan knew best where and how much care he needed. Illium only had to give it.

Aodhan fell into a light sleep. The sun rose but Illium stayed with him.

It was a few hours later that Aodhan opened his eyes again and when he looked around the well known bedroom he felt grounded again. He sat up. Which was cue for Illium to do the same. “Feel better?” 

“Yeah. Thank you for being here.”

“Always. Bath?”

“First I want a kiss.” 

Illium chuckled but gladly fulfilled his wish. Aodhan had been away for a few weeks. So he now craved his partner’s affection. And Aodhan tasted great. Even if he still smelled sweaty and dirty. But the need to give some affection to the other was stronger now. Their love wasn’t strictly platonic anymore and Aodhan needed this kiss, this kind of love now.

Only after he was satisfied with kisses he could think about taking a bath and getting on with his life. He would need his partner close for another few hours though. But he knew Raphael would allow that unless there was an emergency. So for now he could recover from his flashback. And he knew the torture was over. He had a home, friends and a wonderful partner. Life was good even with the little hiccups.