AU - Vampire / Werwölfe... und Zombies (fürs Team)

[der_jemand]

Team: D.A.V.E.
Challenge: AU - Vampire/Werwölfe/... (fürs Team)
Fandom: One Piece
Charaktere: Sanji, diverse andere Strohhüte
Wörter: ca. 1650
A/N: Oh Gott, ist Schreiben schwer. Aber es ist ein erstaunlich naheliegendes AU, wenn ich jetzt mehr Urban Fantasy-Vibes hinkriegen würde... Anyway. Sanji ist ein Vampir und führt einen Nachtclub Restaurant. Zoro ist ein Werwolf und hat sich aufschlitzen lassen.



Baratie wasn't a typical vampire night club. In part, because it actually was a restaurant. Admittedly, one with an amazing bar and an elaborate blood-based drinks menu and of course they were never open before 10 PM, so... Well, there was a reason "Vampires Own Night Clubs" had its own TVTropes page, after all. No, what set Baratie apart from The Bloody Mary, the Coff-Inn or Lestat's was that they didn't cater exclusively to vampires. Of course, nobody ever minded the occasional siren, but Baratie welcomed demons and even fairies with open arms. And when, on a rainy Thursday night, a bloodied, beaten werewolf stumbled through the entrance just to pass out in Franky's arms, Sanji dragged the foul-smelling bedside carpet into a storage room, cleaned his wounds and fried a steak. Because nobody went hungry at Baratie, not even flee-ridden pests.

"Boss, I was wondering... what exactly is that?" Usopp asked from behind the supply closet that he most emphatically was not hiding behind and pointed at the unconscious mess of fur and teeth (and blood, disconcerting amounts of blood) on the floor.

"A customer," Sanji sneered without looking up from stitching the werewolf's gaping chest wound.

"Oh, that's a relief, because from here it looks an awful lot like a feral lycanthrope."

Robin raised one perfect eyebrow. "You worry too much, Usopp. The wolf will surely die of the blood loss within the hour."

Sanji never disagreed with Robin, as a matter of principle as much as due to the fact that she was the smartest person in any room she walked into, but on this, he had to: "My customers do not die in my restaurant."

"Of course not, my dear cook. I will go out, man the bar and do my best to distract the regulars." Robin gave him an encouraging smile before melting into the shadows.

Usopp threw another glance at Sanji and shook his head. "Yeah, I'll go and febreze the floor, maybe nobody will notice the stench."

"Fuck off. But, yeah, good thinking." The only thing they needed less than a dying werewolf between kilo boxes of peanuts and cheap rum was their usual clientele following the putrid scent of were-blood. Sanji might have been willing to stitch up and feed an oversized dirty mutt, but he would certainly not fight one of his regulars over it.

"So, how is wolf-bro?" Franky needed to duck to fit through the storage room's door. "Usopp send me, he doesn't want you to be alone with him if he wakes up."

"I think I can take a half-dead lyco..." Sanji got back to his feet and gently kicked the wolf's side. "Time to wake up, you furry asshole!" His answer was a deep growl and a shudder running through the creature's body. Before Sanji could even react, Franky pushed his towering zombie body between the lycanthrope and the vampire. But nothing more happened. The growl devolved into a whimper and then quietness. Sanji couldn't even hear the wolf breathing... and its heart beat was practically non-existent.

"Well fuck that." He threw his bouncer a glance. "We'll tie him up, leave the steak and check back tomorrow? If he wants to kick the bucket in my storage room, I sure as hell don't care."

"Sure, bro," Franky said amiably and got some ropes.



When Sanji and Robin returned to the storage room the following afternoon, he was almost certain they would have to get rid of a furry body. Discretely, he really didn't want to get himself into a turf war with a pack of weres.

What they found, instead, was an empty plate and an empty bottle of rum next to a naked man with green hair and an ugly, jagged but fully healed scar over his chest. The man was snoring.

"Fucking shitbag stole my rum."

Robin, next to him, chuckled. "Seems your ministrations have proven effective."

"I have half a mind to slit him back open again." This kick to the werewolf's human ribs was a lot less gentle than the one last night, but earned him even less of a reaction, just a slight hitch in the snoring.

"I suspect he has to sleep off his buzz."

"Well, I suspect he's got more alcohol than blood in his body right now. Stupid fucking animal." Sanji gave him another kick, just because he could. "Well. We should get him some clothes and throw him out with the trash, I suppose."

With a decidedly lewd smile, Robin dragged her eyes from their naked problem. "Pity."

Now, Sanji really wanted to kill the stupid werewolf. "And I'll fry some more steaks. Lightly. I assume they like them rare?"



Preparing for the Friday evening crowd had Sanji almost forget about the furry monster in his basement, at least until there was some sort of commotion at the entrance an hour before opening. He could hear Franky shouting less jovially than usual and an answering cackling laugh. When he hurried towards the entrance to see what that was all about, he was hit with the stench of were-blood and a softer, more alluring scent of--The heavy door flew open and Sanji could barely sidestep Franky's body being thrown into the dining hall. Following the zombie, a beautiful woman stepped into the room, flaming red hair, eyes blazing and entirely human. She was up in his face within seconds, pushing a large metal staff under his chin. "Where is he?"

Behind her, the cackling laughter sounded again, but Sanji couldn't see the source, could only -- barely -- see this goddess of a woman.

"Nobody who makes a goddess like you search for them is worthy of your time!"

For his troubles, his head was pushed higher and he was glad that there was not enough blood in his body for a nose-bleed or easy arousal. Franky groaned in pain.

"Whoever you're looking for, perhaps we could discuss this civilly? Not in front of my staff, maybe?"

Reluctantly, she lowered her weapon and turned on her heel. Sanji hurried to follow her into the entrance hall, straightening out his suit as he went. When the door closed behind them, he flashed her a smile that was meant to be charming as much as a display of his fangs. The red-headed goddess rolled her eyes.

"Like I let myself be threatened by an anaemic night club owner."

"Baratie is actually more of a restaurant..."

There was the cackling again. "Really? Can we have dinner here, Nami?" The man asking was young, younger even than Sanji had been before he was turned, but Sanji could recognize a powerful alpha when he saw him. "It smells delicious," the man added with a bright, boyish smile.

The woman, Nami, rolled her eyes. "We're not having dinner in a fucking vampire restaurant, Luffy. We'll grab Zoro, so I can kill him and then we're out of here." She didn't wait for his response, instead turning back on Sanji. "So, where is he? And tell your waiter that he's not subtle at all and will hardly be the first vamp I stake this week."

From the staircase, they could all hear Usopp's barely suppressed yelp and Luffy laughed in apparent delight.

"My apologies, but we just don't know who you are or who you are looking for," came Robin's velvety voice from the shadow's. Nami flinched, but Sanji could hardly blame her, he hadn't heard his Maître d' approaching either. In any case, he liked these numbers a lot better. Three vampires (and a barely concious zombie) against one alpha werewolf and a human woman with a death wish sounded manageable, even if one of the vampires was Usopp.

"We're looking for Zoro," the young alpha explained cheerfully. "We know he's here, I can smell him."

"And preferably, we would like you to hand him out without a fight. Because that would suck for all of us... So, where have you locked him up?" Nami had turned away from Sanji, instead looking at Robin as if she was the one in charge.

"Sanji, I think Zoro may be your... customer."

"Yeah, I figured that out myself, thank you, Usopp. -- He's downstairs. First storage room." Before he could say more than that, Luffy had already leapt down the stairs and then there was a loud bang, screeching of metal and an indignant "What the fuck, Luffy?!".

"Did he just break into my storage room?!"

Nami shrugged. "You locked the door, didn't you?"

Cackling laughter and an oddly familiar growl sounded from downstairs. "Zoro's naked, Nami!"

"Hardly the most important information!" Nami shouted and shared a long-suffering look at Robin, who nodded in understanding. "Oh, what the fuck, Zoro?!"

"What exactly did you think, 'naked' means, witch?"

Sanji turned on his heel to where Luffy was supporting the other man up the stairs and where Usopp was pressing himself flat against the wall to make room for the two werewolves. "What did you just call her, you ungrateful mutt?"

"And who the fuck are you, walking corpse?"

Luffy chuckled. "He's the guy who kept you in his basement!"

"I'm the guy who stitched you back together and fed you!"

Zoro looked down his front, still very much unconcerned about the fact that he was stark naked in a room with three strangers and ladies present. Haltingly, he lifted a hand to the obviously untrained but neat stitching on his chest. "Oh. Thanks."

"You're... welcome?"

Robin chuckled. "This is lovely, isn't it? Shall we grab some drinks before we open up for tonight?"

Werewolves, human and vampires stared at each other. Finally, it was Zoro who spoke: "I could use a drink."

"Fuck no! You already drank half of my storages, moss head!"

Comments

[servena]

"Sanji might have been willing to stitch up and feed an oversized dirty mutt, but he would certainly not fight one of his regulars over it." Priorities! :D

Aber awww, sie werden jetzt bestimmt alle ganz dicke Freunde. Oder so.

[der_jemand]

♥

Aber awww, sie werden jetzt bestimmt alle ganz dicke Freunde. Oder so.
Ich meine, sie müssen, sie sind die ultimative Found Family!
...Ich muss nur auf dem Weg irgendwo Urban Fantasy-Drama finden... =D