Humor/Crack: Joker (fürs Team)

[der_jemand]

Team: Mittelerde
Challenge: Crack: Joker (Inspiration durch dieses Verhör von alea) fürs Team
Fandom: Harry Potter
Charaktere: Charlie Weasley, Oliver Wood, Bill Weasley
Wörter: ca. 870
A/N: Direkte Fortsetzung des Midsomer Murders-AUs mit "Plottwist" powered by awkward phrasing im ersten Teil. Und Kaffee. :)


"Sergeant." Weasley smiled rather pleasantly for a man who had spent the last 78 minutes in a glum interrogation room, waiting.

"Mr. Weasley." Oliver sat down opposite him, taking some time to lay out his notes and gather a similarly pleasant smile. "I'm sorry for the wait but we had to figure out some legal requirements. As you can probably imagine."

Weasley nodded solemnly. "So I'm a suspect, not a witness?" He didn't sound surprised, only curious, and Oliver couldn't help but appreciate the keen assessment of the situation. Apparently, Bill Weasley wasn't the only brother prone to analytical thinking. That would make things easier--or a lot more difficult.

Of course, he didn't say any of that, opting for a shrug instead. "We're open to all lines of questioning at the moment."

That startled a laugh out of Weasley. He held up his hands in defense, "No worries, I know how this looks from where you're standing: Last person to talk to the victim, personal connection, and then the fight... Hell, I'm starting to suspect myself!"

Oliver just raised an eyebrow, refusing to be charmed by Weasley's husky laughter. "What fight, Mr. Weasley?"

Sheepishly, Weasley rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't mention that part, hu? Well, Marcus and I have never gotten along particularly well, for obvious reasons."

Oliver may not have been a seasoned investigator, but this was hardly his first interrogation and it was rapidly shaping up to be the strangest. For one, Weasley had apparently missed the memo that being a murder suspect was something that should make you nervous. Or at least make you try to sound less guilty, not more.

"Obvious reasons? I was under the impression that your relationship with Mr. Flint was... of an intimate nature."

"What?!" Weasley's face paled rapidly. "What are you talking about?"

So much for this being easy. Of course, Weasley had realised that his brother would be watching the interrogation even if he wasn't allowed in the room itself.

Oliver schooled his face into a neutral-but-sympathetic expression. "Mr. Weasley, please understand that in a murder investigation, there's unfortunately no place for privacy. D.I. Weasley has already been briefed on our chat earlier. I'm sorry." And he really was. Not that Bill Weasley had reacted in any way badly to the news about his brother's sexuality but that was hardly the point. "I understand you haven't been out. Rest assured that we won't go out of our way to spread this information any further than necessary."

Weasley swallowed heavily. "Yeah-- no-- shit! I should have told Bill a long time ago. Bloody fucking--" He cleared his throat. "No, I may be a fag but Marcus is a fucking nazi!"

"What?" Oliver's head snapped up at that before he could catch himself.

"He's--He was a fascist piece of shit, I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole."

Shaking his head to wrap his mind around that, Oliver leafed through his note pad. "Earlier you said, and I quote, you 'hook up', occasionally."

Weasley made a strangled noise. "Oh. That. No, I wasn't talking about Marcus but his dad. Richard Flint. We... fuck. Very casually. Marcus of course doesn't approve, hence his visit last night and the... fight. Animated discussion." He closed his eyes, all his earlier bravado gone. "Shit."

Oliver just stared for a beat. Then he cleared his throat. "I see. I--" Oh fuck this. "Can I get you a coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee, please. Can the fancy new machine Bill mentioned do espresso? And make it double?"

"Sure. I'll just be a moment."

He gathered his documents and left Weasley in the interrogation room, the door closing with an ominous click behind him.

His boss was waiting in the hallway. He'd watched via the camera feed, seeing as he was literally the only senior officer Puddlemere CID had. He smiled softly. "You're doing well."

"This sucks."

Bill Weasley just hummed and lead the way to the coffee machine.

"Well, probably even more for you, than for me," Oliver added magnanimously despite his fostering headache.

Another hum. "If you're uncomfortable with the family situation, we'll just hand the whole case over to the county."

Oliver snorted. "I kinda expected the family thing when I came to a small town. Honestly, I'm almost surprised that my first murder suspect here is your brother and not my boyfriend or something."

Bill pulled the espresso and without prompting went for the too strong filter brew for Oliver. "You have a boyfriend?"

At that, Oliver could only raise his eyebrows in mock disbelief. "With the hours we're working?"

"I'm married."

"Lucky bastard."

D.I. Weasley gave him a broad smile. "And don't I know it." He handed the two coffee mugs over to him. "If it wasn't in incredibly poor taste, I'd tell you that my brother is apparently single. Sort of."

"That's--" Oliver didn't know what to say. "What the hell, Bill?"

"Welcome to Puddlemere CID, Sergeant Wood."