Heldenreise - Herber Rückschlag

[der_jemand]

Team: Mittelerde
Challenge: Heldenreise: Herber Rückschlag (für mich)
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Wörter: ca. 1020
A/N: Fortsetzung zu Fake Dating, ein Fake Jungesellenabschied, irgendwo in der Mitte einer "Heldenreise" in der Hoffnung, dass mich das motiviert dem zumindest ein Ende angedeihen zu lassen. :)



"You've got to be shitting me."

Nami smiled sweetly and an ice-cold shudder ran over Zoro's back. "Oh, come on, it will be fun! We'll go out drinking, all of us, you'll dance with Sanji-kun a few times and then can get wasted."

Zoro decided to not comment on the 'dancing' part. "Aren't we supposed to have, like, separate bachelor's parties?"

"Well, as you don't have separate friends, we'll have to go stag and--stag, I guess. Very West Blue."

"I fucking hate you."

"Oh, you really, really don't, Zoro-kun."

She pressed a kiss to his cheek and Zoro tried to strangle her.



Because Nami was a spiteful witch that did not appreciate attempted murder, their bachelors's party ended up in a female strip club and Zoro got a night of trying to drink so much that he would not remember Sanji falling into a dancer's voluptuous décolleté or drunkenly and clumsily dancing on her pole.

"You're good, witch. Fucking evil, but good." Zoro prided himself in being a gracious loser. Of course, he would have to kill either her, Sanji or himself, or ideally all three of them, but until then he could give her that.

Nami raised her beer in acknowledgement but before she could say anything, a drunk cook flailed his way between them, sprawling awkwardly over the couch far away from the main stage that Zoro had commandeered early in the night. While Sanji tried to figure out up from down and sit down properly, Nami gave her goodbyes and went off to swindle other drunkards out of their money or look at pretty women. Or both. Zoro didn't think she was particularly picky.

Sanji didn't seem to notice, instead locked his eyes on Zoro. "Marimo!"

"I'm glad to see you, too."

The cook giggled. "Have you seen me dancing? With Cherry over there? Oh man, she's..." Sanji gesticulated at the dancer who actually waved back at him. "You know?"

Zoro snorted into his beer. "Can't say I do."

That had Sanji swivel his head back towards him almost violently. "Oh..." His grin was almost predatory. "She not your type?"

"Nope." Zoro popped the 'p' and went for an answering smirk. This could actually be fun.

"Pray tell, if legs for days and sparkling blue eyes are not your type, what is?"

Zoro choked on the next gulp of beer. Fucking ero-cook. "Oh, those are absolutely my type," he managed to get out between coughs. Forcing the smirk to return was a lot harder. "She's not."

"What?!" Sanji's confusion was written plainly on his face. It would have been adorable if not for the whole fucking rest of the situation. "You-- What are you on about? Too curvy? That's it, isn't it? You're into muscles, of course you are!"

"Yeah... yeah, you could say that. -- I'll get another drink. Want something?"

And that apparently was what stumped the drunk idiot cook. "Is everything alright?"

"Sure! It's just my bachelor's party and if I stop drinking any time soon, I will remember this evening tomorrow and, yeah, I'm not gonna do that."

"Marimo?"

"Curly?"

For a second, Sanji looked like he wanted to ask something but then he shrugged. "I'd share some sake with you."

Zoro narrowed his eyes at the cook. "What makes you think that I'd share with you?!"

"The fact that after tomorrow, you'll share everything with me?"

"Oh fuck you, shit cook."

Sanji smirked up at him. "You'd enjoy that, wouldn't you?"

"I probably would," Zoro snarled and turned on his heel. Sake it was.



When he returned with a pitcher and glasses, Sanji looked like he was having an aneurysm. He hadn't even moved since Zoro had left him.

Zoro filled up two glasses to the rim and pressed one into the cook's hand before downing the other.

He refilled his glass and sat down, half an arm length away from the cook. "Figured it out, did you?"

"You--you're--" The cook stammered. "You're gay?!"

That was not entirely the revelation that Zoro had expected but he would take it. Small mercies, gift horses and all that. But he just couldn't let Sanji off that easily. "I'm literally engaged to a dude."

"Funny." The cook shook his head and seemed to notice the drink in his hand only now. He downed it without hesitation. "How did I never notice? Hell, I should have known right from the start, with dumb and dumber trailing after you when we met."

"Dumb and dumb--Johnny and Yosaku? Oh. Yeah. That's fair."

"Did you ever... with one of them? Or both?"

"Oh hell no! They were practically married already when I met them and I don't... Well, I don't do stuff like that."

Sanji raised a curly eyebrow. "Threesomes or getting between other people?"

"The latter. It's just not... right, I guess?" Zoro didn't know how the conversation had ended up here but it was a hell of a lot better than talking about feelings or relationships he may actually have or want and the cook seemed surprisingly comfortable with the whole thing.

Point in case, he actually cooed at that statement. "You're actually a secret romantic, aren't you, Mr. Stabby? -- You believe in marriage and commitment and stuff."

Zoro shrugged. "What if I do?"

"Well, then I can't marry you."

"What?!"

Sanji smiled at him sweetly. "Sorry, I should have realised it before. You never do things by halves, after all. I can't make you marry me just for treasure. You deserve better. Nami-swan will understand."

"I--I doubt that." Not the important bit, but Zoro's brain refused to engage with any other part of that ridiculous statement. "She'll kill us."

Sanji just smiled, pressed a quick kiss to Zoro's cheek and then left him sitting there like a fucking idiot.

Comments

[fischgraete]

<3 du musst defintiv mehr davon schreiben!