Dear K. - Hurt/Comfort

[leviathans-moon.livejournal.com]

Title: Dear K.
Author: leviathans_moon
Team: Metaphermorphose
Bingo-Tabelle: Hurt/Comfort
Challenge: Schreibaufgabe Briefform
Kommentar: in English, original


Dear K.,

Now that I think about it, I’m not sure you even realised how selfish you have been. The instances that come to my mind show a certain mindset of taking things for granted, of expecting things to be the way they had always been. You called, he came running. You wanted something, he did it for you.
I think the most hurtful example was the night before my wedding – you know, the one where I got married to him, and you wanted him for yourself for a last few precious hours just before he was about to be snatched out of your grasp forever. That’s why you came a day early, knowing I would already be sleeping at the hotel where I would be getting ready the next morning.
You asked him to pick you up from the train station, although you knew the way, and quite honestly any reasonable adult is capable of doing it on their own. So while he went off to get you I was left at home, dealing with last minute preparations, getting ready to move everything I would need to the hotel – on my own. I was laden down and exhausted when I arrived, while you were then having prosecco with the man I was supposed to marry the next day.
I may have been able to cope with that, but I got really angry when the two of you then showed up nearly two hours late to the arranged dinner with my family and friends, because you had been drinking prosecco and wanted time with him alone. You then barely tried to interact with anybody, not until A. and H. showed up, and to every outsider it must have looked as if you two were the couple, that’s how glued you were to him.
And I say I was angry, I was not just angry, by the end of the night I was hurt and feeling neglected, as if I was second choice, as if I had never had a chance but to be second choice, because you had him tight within your grip. You had trained him well.
I left the pub to go to the hotel on my own. I cried on the bus. It was not how I had imagined the night before my wedding to be, with my future husband stuck to another woman.
So yes, I do think that sometimes you are selfish. Your inability to give us space when we repeatedly asked for it was just another example, except this time I said something. This time I didn’t keep my mouth shut, because I deserved better than to play second fiddle to whatever pain you apparently were going through. In that moment, my pain counted more, and I will not apologise for taking what I had every right to take. Because he is my husband, and he and I need to make it work. And you didn’t have the right to be that selfish.
I’m only sorry that you can’t seem to realise that.

I want to move on from this, but I only can if you realise.

Kind regards, M.