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Titel: Black humor
Team: Aschenputtel
Challenge: Farbe – Schwarz: Humor (Für's Team)
Fandom: Underworld AU
Charaktere: Ellen Tadmor, Nathaniel, unknown guy
Sprache: Englisch
Kommentar: Das lag hier schon ewig rum…

The mouth of a gun was pointing at her face.

Black humor

“Professor Tadmor?” a man called after her as she was walking over campus to her car. God, not now, she thought. It’s 10 p.m., my results don’t make any sense and I just want to get home and have a drink.
“I don’t have a lot of time –“, she began as she turned around. Then she stopped. The mouth of a gun was pointing at her face.
Her thoughts were racing. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Do I still have that mace in my purse – no I took that out because I needed the space – nothing ever happens here – okay, breathe Ellen, breathe –
The face of the man behind the gun slowly came into focus. She ran it through the list of every student, assistant and colleague she knew and came up empty.
“Okay”, she finally managed to say. It sounded like the squeak of a dying mouse. Get yourself together, Ellen Tadmor. “If you just tell me what you want –“
“You don’t talk”, the voice snapped. “I talk, and you do what I say.”
She nodded. If he wants my purse, I’ll just give it to him. A rapist would have picked someone younger and prettier, right? Right?
“You’re that scientist”, the man continued with a sneer. “You do all those fluffy talks about vampires while you cover up that they’re killing us! Don’t you have any shame, any loyalty for the human race? They pay you good money, don’t they?!”
“I don’t –“
“NO TALKING!”
She took a shuddering breath and nodded. This is personal. This is bad. Why didn’t I take that job in California? At least they probably would have had proper security.
“You can lie all you want, bitch! None of that science babble is going to get you out of here. You’re not going to poison the minds of the people anymore!”
She squinted. She thought she saw something moving behind the man, or maybe her nerves were playing tricks on her. But then a voice said: “If you think you can pull the trigger before I break your neck, go ahead.”
A man stepped out of the shadows into the light of the street lamp, wearing a black coat and heavy black boots. This face she recognized immediately: The man who had approached her after her last talk. The man who was maybe, just maybe, a vampire. “Of course”, he continued, “I would kill you either way. Or you could hand over the gun and leave.”
The man laughed. “You’re bluffing. Better leave before you get yourself hurt.”
“Oh, I’m really not.” He hissed, baring two sharp canine-like teeth, brown eyes flickering to an icy blue momentarily before changing back.
This is definitely evidence to support that theory, she thought dimly. Marek is going to freak out when I tell him. If I survive this.
The man’s face had turned as white as a sheet, the gun in his hand was shaking. She wasn’t sure if that was an improvement. “H-how do I know you won’t kill me anyway?”
The vampire cocked his head. “You don’t.”
For a moment nobody moved. Then the man let go of the gun, which hit the ground with a clattering sound, and fled.
“You’re letting him go?” she asked when she had found her voice again.
He looked after him. “He won’t get far.” Then he turned to face her and smiled. “I only said I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“Do all vampires have such a black humor?” she asked. Her heart was still beating as if it would jump out of her throat at any moment.
He shrugged and crouched down to pick up the gun. “Mostly. Guess it comes with the territory. I thought you might want to thank me.”
“Oh my god, where are my manners! Of course, yes, I do. Thank you for saving my life.” Then she added, because she couldn’t help herself: “Can I ask you a few questions?”

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